How Do You Do It?

I get this question quite often -- "How do you juggle a full time job with your role as wife and mother of four? How do you maintain balance?"  

This is going to have to be part one on this subject, the things that impact my daily walk are endless. The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that I was a TEACHER before I was a Pediatric Dentist!  

As all educators know, we learn a lot in those first years of teaching.  Teaching, and my fellow teachers, taught me many life lessons that I am able to apply to my everyday life.

For example, one of the most important lessons learned was that I needed to create a sense of community in my classroom and with my fellow teachers.  In my classroom, rules and organization were vital to maintaining order so that I could teach effectively.  And, as teachers we all relied on each other for ideas, supplies  or just simple advice. It’s the same in my work and in my home. Whether it is my husband and I or my staff, we are a team.

Another important lesson learned from teaching was that organization was key. Being prepared and getting everything ready the night before is so important to keeping the ball rolling. Organization is vital to making my life work and I rely on my wonderful husband and extended family, as well as, a fantastic group of staff members to get all of the jobs done!  Whether it is getting one of my own children from point A to point B, planning field trips for Brownie troops, or helping to run my practice…it actually does take a village (actually, with four children, I think more of a state!)

I also learned the art of delegating! In my classroom, every student had a ‘job’ or responsibility each week within our classroom community.  It’s the same in my office and at home. We all have our strengths, making us all a part of the puzzle serving for the greater good!  It is vital that I collaborate with others and ask for help and delegate. I recognize that I cannot wear all of the ‘hats’ at my office nor in my home.  At work I have to train and delegate responsibilities to each staff member and know that I have the right people on my side and as part of my workplace team. I have to defer to others expertise on accounting or other matters integral to running a business. At home I have to realize that my children need me to just be me, mom. Not a car shuttle or check book- just to sit and spend time with them. I have to recognize that my specialty is Pediatric Dentistry and being a Wife/Mother, all the rest is up to everyone else and their particular strengths.    

Another principle that I learned from teaching was that, in order to gain respect from my students, I had to respect each and every one of them first, and I needed them all to know how important they were in this world.  I have tried to apply those same principals to my children, my staff members, my patients and to their parents. During my teaching days, I had students that came from dysfunctional families and low socioeconomic conditions as a result of that they tended to have very low self -esteem. By entrusting each one of my students with a responsibility for our classroom community and by being respectful of each and every student, I was teaching the students that they were important and integral to the classroom success every day. I believe that the same message applies to everyone and I strive to show this to my staff, patients and to my own children. In fact, as I write, there is a list of 100 positive, affirming phrases hanging in our staff lounge to remind all of us here to take the time to remind our patients and their parents of their value and importance in the world. Because who knows? Maybe this is the day that one particular patient or their parent really needs affirmation. Maybe they have had a bad day or a bad week. We have the privilege of being a place where we can offer a sense of community and kindness and affirmation-- we take that privilege very seriously. 

Another lesson that I learned from teaching is that in order to be an effective teacher, I needed to show my students that I was accessible and needed to show them how much I truly cared for them and their families, and I needed to exhibit and truly show my enthusiasm for teaching and learning.  Guess what?  These same qualities are required to be an effective Pediatric Dentist or support staff member.  When children feel comfortable and know that we truly care about their dental health, then we are more effective at doing our jobs and taking care of their teeth!  And, these are all qualities that I look for in staff members here at ARPD and that I nurture in myself. 

Other lessons from teaching that have served me well? 

·        Have high (but still realistic) expectations of those that I serve… . I learned long ago that people tend to live up (or down) to what you expect of them. This applies from my spouse all the way to the check out clerk at the grocery store. I strongly believe that If you don't have expectations for someone, it shows that you don't believe in them.

·        Nurture a Love of Learning… in myself and in my staff members. I know that I am never finished 'learning' to be a pediatric dentist! I love attending CE courses and keeping updated on new procedures, materials and products.  I enjoy maintaining my Board Certification in Pediatric Dentistry!  Board Certification insures that I will always be striving to be a better pediatric dentist.  There is always more to learn each year.  Not to mention what my patients and children teach me, maybe even more than all of my classes!

·        Be a Skilled Leader… boy, this takes work! In order to manage the business and a large staff I am constantly problem solving, trying everything until I find out what will work.I am always shifting gears, adapting and changing until I get it right. Unfortunately ;) this means admitting my mistakes and learning from my mistakes, a true sign of someones professionalism.  All of these skills are vital to running a business, and, might I add,  vital to being a mother and working with children!  So, once again, thank you to my education experience.

And, finally, one of the most important methods that I use to ‘juggle my life’ and find balance in all that I do is to choose positivity daily. In order to do this, I have to make a very intentional effort not to lose personal connection. I have to remember what it was like to be a child, a student, and a patient. I strive to learn from those that I serve and to those whom I interact with each day. I try to look at every person I interact with with a desire to truly understand their needs.

Not to long ago I posted about my love of reading. Well, here’s a literary reference from one of my very favorite novels (for all of you “To Kill a Mockingbird’ fans out there). This quotation is from Harper Lee’s Atticus and describes a state of mind that I truly feel makes life easier: "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it…”  That says it all, right?